Thinking about life…

It’s moments like now that make me feel so alive. I just returned home from a trip to San Francisco for the HOW Interactive Design Conference and for an indie roadtrip. Myself, and my design cohorts, Josh and Monique, interviewed speakers at the conference and creatives living within the city to learn more about our own paths as designers and creatives in the world. This trip has really motivated and inspired me. It has opened me up to understand myself better with a focus and intention that is so passionate.

Asking questions to each person and hearing them unfold their own life stories and perspectives is so enlightening, like a dose of reality that humbled and re-awakened the fire inside of me. It broke me down to where I fell apart in tears, then it built me back up to realize so many things about myself personally, and professionaly as the person i aspire to be. The idea of my life’s work versus just work itself. What is it I want to do, and why is that important to me, and who does that benefit besides myself? Am I doing something intentional with impact for a purpose that is meaningful to me or am I just widdling away trying to get by…. I don’t know all the answers, and no one does, so you keep asking questions to people who have been there and understand you and can give you some insight that will help you navigate these uncharted waters.

So many questions and so many answers with so much wisdom that is beyond my life span, it was like a treasure trove of experience and exploration beyond anything I could ever imagine. I can hear so many quotes floating around in my head. I thought to myself, and mentioned to Monique, “now I know why these quotes mean so much to the founders, and how personal they are in relationship to where a person is in there life.”

It’s as if there is a wealth of knowledge and resources out there, but it’s up to you to go get it and learn it, and master it, and explore it constantly so you keep growing. I’ve had so much on my mind, I had to write it down so it wouldn’t be forgotten, and I could share it with myself later, and to you reading this.

This year has been quite a deep look into myself personally and learning about who I’ve become as i’m entering this new chapter of my life. Thirty years of life, and i’m just barely getting the hang of things. I’ve done therapy, i’m doing yoga and studying different texts. I’m exploring spirituality and getting into creative things that help me find my focus and express my explorations. I’ve found each is an interesting way to connect to the world, and communicate ideas and concepts that are important and relevant to me.

The interviews at the conference, and the words of the leaders we met made me see everything again in a new perspective that helped me learn so much about myself after all of this exploration and introspection. Here are some thoughts and learning’s in reflecting on the individual interviews:

Jose Caballer, he really hit me in my heart. He said that I kept talking about fear and that I was letting something hold me back, and that I was fighting it. That all these things are around me and I wasn’t seeing it or using it to my benefit. All these books I could’ve read by now that people have given me that would give me insight and push me leaps and bounds. It was as if I was looking into a mirror and was able to see myself truly and clearly which was so scary and so heartwarming at the same time. It cracked me open. It made my ego snap and I instantly realized what I was doing was so much bigger than that.

Damon Way said “you can really only be good at 2 things because all you have is night and day,” and he explained how the way you spend your time is really important. Some things in your life can be hobbies, but  you spend most of your time doing two major things. It got me thinking about what is really important to me and if i’m spending time in a way that is important and valuable to me… and not for anyone else to approve or disapprove of, but so that I feel good about what I’m doing with myself. In thinking about this idea I teared up a little, feeling really grateful about the impact I make with my work in Roadtrip, but also feeling really empty in my personal exploration and efforts. It refocused my mind, and realize the value of my time outside of work and that there is life business to handled! I have things to say, projects to do, exciting adventures to take and to be living the life i want every moment, rather than thinking it’s not there yet. As though i’m working for something that’s coming later, rather than being so fully engaged at every moment right now.

Agency Charlie, and meeting Nick, Ava, and Jason was so freaking rad. Nick said that something he learned from Jason was to be proud of everything you are doing, and to not do or show work you are not proud of. This idea is so simple, yet so brilliant. If there is anything you can judge yourself on with impact in your effort from day to day it’s just to be proud of what you’ve done. To be living for the right feelings from your gut. It took a lot of pressure off to think about this idea. Jason also talked about the merit in spending your time doing what really matters to you, and we’re talking all-the-time. To see that every moment you can be doing something, anything, and that is you doing your life’s work. He said if you are actively participating in things surrounding your interests and values you will meet people who are passionate about the same things, and this leads to relationship that produce meaningful work. This blew my mind. I am always worried about how to spend my time and trying to make the best use of my time, and this concept of being around friends and at events that i love, and then being engaged and participating, you meet people, and things happen, and that’s sort of how it all works. You just never know who you’ll meet and what that relationship will turn into for your life. And when that spark is there, creative explosions happen.

Ilene Strizver was so amazing too. What a lady with a personality! She’s so smart and witty and has seen a lot of the design industry change over time. She’s an example of a hard working person who just honed her craft more and more constantly pursuing her passion for lettering. She was talking about having to do things manually before computers, and how much her life has changed in the last ten years. She’s such a learner, and knows so much about current things, I can truly see myself in her. Not only that, but we’ve been communicating daily since the trip which really blew my mind. She reached out to me! So rad. I truly feel like I made a life-long connection with Ilene. I’m going to try and link her and Hanson up to get her to LA or Orange County to do a presentation about typography for AIGA.

I’m just beaming… bursting from the seams with excitement and affirmation about my creative interests, my life moving forward, and feel like i’m exactly where i’m supposed to be in my life, with so much wisdom to keep me focused moving forward. I am so grateful for this indie-roadtrip and for the interviews, and for Josh and Mo who I got to know so well during this trip. I feel so refreshed with a new perspective on things that will keep be grounded, focused, excited, and inspired! Same old tawny but with a refreshed badass appreciation and passion for what i’m doing.